Ed. “East West”
translated by Detelina Ivanova
price BGN 20
According to Belgian therapist Esther Perel, when people start mistaking intimacy for fusion, it’s a bad sign for sex. She is convinced that in order to maintain our passion for each other, there must be a line to cross. “Eroticism requires separateness. In other words, eroticism thrives in the space between us and the other. In order to communicate intimately with the person we love, we must be able to tolerate this abyss, shrouded in uncertainty,” writes Perel in his book “Erotic Intelligence” (Mating in Captivity). It was published in a new translation by Detelina Ivanova from ed. “East-West” (The previous edition was from 2013 and published by “Vexta”). The book has already become a textbook for sexologists, psychologists, therapists, but it is suitable reading for all non-professionals who want to understand the dynamics in modern relationships. As you read about erotic intelligence, it feels like you’re hearing Esther Perel’s husky, soothing voice speaking with a familiar accent if you’ve listened to her podcasts Where Should We Begin, How’s Work, or her TED talks.
According to Perel, the challenge facing modern relationships is that because people are living longer, it is increasingly difficult for them to be monogamous. One possible solution is to not be afraid to allow a dose of uncertainty and the unknown into the relationship: “Excitement is intertwined with uncertainty, as well as our willingness to embrace the unknown rather than defend against it.
Her experience as a long-term therapist gives her the opportunity to look at new trends from many sides and back them up with real-life examples. She herself has a turbulent life path, knows nine languages, was born into a family of Belgian Jews who survived the holocaust, and dedicates “Erotic Intelligence” to them, exemplifying their love of life after seeing so much death .