Zahara Baharov’s acting performance of Ivan Landzhev’s essay “Bulgarian Selfie” became a hit on social networks on Friday. The recording was made as part of the premiere of Landjev’s book “On the Inevitable Chance”, which is scheduled to premiere on November 6.
The editor of the book is Georgi Gospodinov, and the video became very popular after it was distributed by the “Read More” group.
The essay “Bulgarian Selfie” is a great success on social networks, ridiculing all the popular absurd notions spread in the Bulgarian language space on Facebook.
Here is the full text of the essay as read by Zahari Baharov.
The Americans want to enslave me once and for all. The Russians want to release me – permanently.
Eurogays want to change my gender. And take my child away.
I want the child to study in the West. I hate the West.
I want to stand up to his tyranny, but also to have the visas dropped.
The Turks want me back. The Greeks want me not to come back…next summer.
Macedonians do not recognize my history – I do not recognize their country. Never mind that I was the first to admit it to them at one time.
I want to leave us and the European Union. But the Macedonians should not enter!
The English don’t want me to go to them. But they come to me because there are not so many measures here.
I want urgent measures to be taken so that there are no more measures.
I want the world to know that we invented the computer, but we will not let them turn us into computers.
I don’t want to stand on the right in the subway and shout: “Run to the left!”
The union makes the strength, but everyone decides for himself.
I want us to come together – enough of this division. But I don’t want to collect separately. It all comes together in the end, doesn’t it?
There is a place for big idiots in the university. There is no place for small children in the kindergarten.
I don’t like how they are siphoning off my funds, so I’m going to siphon off my balcony.
They ruined this country, but long live Bulgaria, because nothing happens here, but we are number one.
Everywhere I turn I see fascism – medical fascism, media fascism, liberal fascism. Only in ordinary, fascist fascism, I do not see a gram.
I am a Bulgarian. I love… but I don’t know the whole thing.
Bulgaria is in my heart, Levski and Botev are in my calf.
I love revivalists – but today’s more so. Because they once fought to be a European country, and today’s fight not to be. Progress.
I’m a Christian, but I’m not religious.
A new prophet tells me to drink bleach. It damages clothes, but helps health. And it’s not exactly bleach, well, it just has a little bit of bleach in there.
And the man is not exactly a prophet, he works like a plasterer. But what of this – wasn’t Jesus also a carpenter?
Also, “messiah” means “anointed” – and the putty comes after the plaster.
So my man is an over-messiah. I’m on top of things too.
I’m not exactly happy, but I want to be.
And maybe that’s the whole point…