They presented the guidelines for applying under the “Development of the Regions” Program

– Santa Claus, I want you to bring love, peace and equality to all people on Earth!

“Yours smoke weed, don’t they, my child?”

Good morning and happy shopping!

Three couples – married for 30 years, married for 5 years, and newlyweds – want to become members of a church. The pastor tells them:
– To become members of the church, you have to go 2 weeks without having sex. This way we will know that your faith is stronger than your animal instincts.
After 2 weeks the three couples come and the pastor questions them. The Old Couple:
– It was no problem.
Asks those married for 5 years:
– Well, the first week was fine, but the second week my wife and I slept separately so as not to be tempted.
He also asks the newlyweds, the man answers:
– Well, we couldn’t last 2 weeks?
– Have you given in to temptation?
– Yes, a few days ago, my wife was trying to reach a can of corn on the top shelf, knocked it over, and bent down to pick it up. When I saw her and… I couldn’t help myself.
– Sorry to hear that, son. Unfortunately, you are no longer welcome in the church.
– That’s the fuck, but we are no longer welcome in Billa either.

They conduct primilak at school:
– But please?!
– What have I done ?!
– And why Twelve years?!

In court, a question to a witness:
– How did you guess that the men in the warehouse were thieves?
– At first I thought they were workers. But when I saw how fast they were loading, I had my doubts.

A man walks into a pharmacy and whispers something into the pharmacist’s ear.
The pharmacist (in a loud voice that can be heard throughout the pharmacy):
– What protective equipment?! This is a pharmacy, if not the Ministry of Defense.