Tim Lambesis (AS I LAY DYING): “Being in prison helped me see the suffering I was causing”

On April 2, the American metalcore band AS I LAY DYING performed his second concert in Bulgaria. The event took place in Hall 3 of the NDK at the invitation of “Fest Team”. Before Tim Lambesis and company, native metallers from THIS BURNING DAY.

The most recent chapter in the history of AS I LAY DYING is full of contradictions. In 2013 Lambesis tried to organize the murder of his wife and in 2014 was sentenced to six years behind bars. He was released from prison in 2017 after serving less than half of his sentence.

Then Lambesis publicly apologized and revived AS I LAY DYING in their classical composition. The musicians released the album “Shaped by Fire” in 2019, but in the next few years Nick Hippa (guitar), Josh Gilbert (bass/vocals) and Jordan Mancino (drums) left the band one after the other. S Lambesis only Phil Sgrosso (guitar) remained. The two filled the gaps in the lineup and moved on.

Before the execution of AS I LAY DYING in Sofia Tim Lambesis gave an interview for WeRock.bg, in which he talks mostly about his experiences in recent years and what they have taught him. You can read what exactly he said below.

WeRock.bg: You started with AS I LAY DYING in 2000. What is the reason for this longevity?
Tim Lambesis: I’m proud that over 20 years later the band is still around. When I started I thought it would just be a hobby that I would have fun with. I always wanted to make as many albums and concerts as possible, but I never imagined that this type of music would actually allow me to not only pay my bills, but lead the life I want to have.
When I started, Phil wasn’t part of AS I LAY DYING yet. He joined the band before the recording of our third album “Shadows Are Security”. Before he came, writing the guitar parts was my responsibility, so they were one idea simpler. After Phil came along our music became more melodic and the songs themselves more complex to play. Subsequently, we all continued to grow as musicians and our ideas improved over time.

Which of these ideas left a lasting impression on your mind?
It’s hard for me to judge which ones would stand out more than the others. Each represents a different feeling. The good thing is that what is written remains. If I’m going through something that reminds me of a song we’ve written, it helps me a lot in that moment. The concept of the personal battles we fight is universal. Each of us has things happen to us after which we have to find a way to move on and find inner peace. Maybe that’s why I’m forever connected to our song “Through Struggle.”

What role does music play in fighting these internal battles?
As a songwriter, I always write from the perspective of a person who wants to be better. Sometimes I write about the person I want to be, not the person I am now. I think our society can grow when people spend time on their personal flaws and work on overcoming them.
An interesting phenomenon is when a gang concentrates on politics and tries to tell others what to believe. This usually doesn’t work because people have already made up their minds about it and don’t want someone telling them what to think. So I think that as a musician I can have a much greater impact on my fans if I encourage them to look within themselves to find their faults and reflect on them.
In all my songs I write about the ways I want to grow as a person. I think a lyricist should be a humble person because we humans often make mistakes. I write about who I am, who I want to be and where I want to go in life. I understand my shortcomings. A person is more likely to improve when he is aware of his mistakes.

How do you balance these internal battles with the public life you have to lead?
You’re right that my private life has some pretty public moments. All my flaws were exposed. The good stuff stays hidden and that’s refreshing, but the worst thing I’ve ever done is out in the open. The essence of this conversation is whether it is possible for a person like me who has made a mistake to move on. Is redemption possible?

How do you feel about the second chance you got?
It might sound weird, but I’m not trying to change people’s opinion of me. If someone looks at my past and decides they can no longer support AS I LAY DYING and don’t want to be associated with me, then they have every right to feel that way. I’m not offended by that because I understand it.
I believe that people who make mistakes and realize them have a whole new perspective on their lives. Take my career for example. The group was developing very well and at one point everything collapsed. I worked hard for this new beginning. This second chance taught me to appreciate what I have. I hope people understand that even those who have made terrible mistakes can lead productive lives filled with gratitude.

Tell me more about the journey you’ve taken over the last few years from your time in prison to your return to music.
Compared to the past, I now have more life experience and look at things differently. When I was younger I had the attitude that I had it all figured out, that I was very smart, etc. I thought my beliefs were better than other people’s. Then the things that led to my arrest happened.
All this showed me how wrong I was. I realized that the very mentality of having an answer for everything is unhealthy. Now I’m okay with not having all the answers. I’m aware of what the most important things are, and I think they spring from a sense of empathy and compassion.
Being in prison helped me see the suffering I was causing. I realized that it was important for me to live a life that minimized the suffering of other people. It is the core upon which I build my sense of love.

Do you consider it part of your life’s mission to help others avoid the same path of self-destruction? If so, what would you advise them?
Of course. The lyrics in our current album “Shaped by Fire” are largely about this theme. Most of the mistakes I’ve made in my life have been when I tried to isolate myself and not talk to my family and friends. I would advise people to talk to their loved ones. Tell them what’s going on in their head. It’s very, very therapeutic. Most people are surprised when they talk about their flaws with those they love. They realize how noble they really are and how there is always a way forward.

I leave the last words to you.
I am glad that we are in Sofia. We had dinner here last night and walked around. The city is nice and I can’t wait for the concert. I hope we can return soon.

Author: Eino
Photos: Marush “Lutsi” Denchev